I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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