Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
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i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
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I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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