she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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