The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
