Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.