I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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