guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
