I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
