no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
