I can tuck mytits in my pants
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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