you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
