I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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