what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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