I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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