does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
