I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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