I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
