I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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