In the future we'll all be gay
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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