An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
