he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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