So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
