ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
