So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
