I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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