My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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