Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
