I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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