found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
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