The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
