when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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