Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
