i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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