The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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