I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
