no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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