Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm experimenting with sincerity
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
