Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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