please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
