yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
