If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
