I think i peed on brittanys purse
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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