I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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