I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
