he shaved USA in his pubs
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
