I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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