In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
