I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize