I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize