i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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