I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
sarcasm needs its own font
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
