I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
