Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
