and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
