Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
