He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
