Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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