I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
you will always have a special place in my vag
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just want nice things and good sex
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Drunk is not a location!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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