I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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