Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
