Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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