Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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