it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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