i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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