What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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