we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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