He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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