so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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