it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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