Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
