she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
