those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
